The collective thinking about long distance relationships (LDR) in the past was that they were only suitable for those who couldn’t find a compatible mate in their own backyard. Today’s technology and changing attitudes have proven that this isn’t the case at all. In fact, a recent Queen’s University study concluded that couples in long distance relationships were just as satisfied as those in “geographically-close” ones. Obviously dating long distance requires some work and more ingenuity than dating someone who lives a mile away. Here are four ways to thrive, and not just survive, in today’s long distance dating environment.
If you ask enough people and search long enough, there will be plenty who will spout their LDR horror stories. Don’t listen to them. There are just as many people who have found lasting love at extreme distances and the notion that LDR’s “never work” is a myth. If someone tells you that your relationship is “doomed,” ask them how they know this. In fact, your attitude plays the greatest role in the success or failure of your relationship. Long distance online dating has come a long way in the past several years and has provided more connections internationally than ever before. Use this to your advantage.
When dating long distance, the opportunities to meet in person could be few and far between. There is evidence to suggest that the amount of “face time” in an LDR has no relevance to the relationship’s success or failure. This means that, if you can’t afford to make a visit just yet, that’s ok.
However, if you want to keep the relationship fresh, the importance of romance and sexual tension can’t be understated. Provocative texting (yes, it’s called “sexting”) is an excellent way to keep both parties engaged-BUT only if both parties agree. Seriously. This works for a lot of couples, but not *every* couple. Make sure to talk about it with your partner before sending any risque photos.
Another way you can take things up a notch and spend time together is by video chatting. We suggest staying on Cherry Blossoms chat while you get to know one another, but there are also a few other great video chat programs out there.
Speaking of intimacy, a successful long distance relationship requires a great deal of communication on many levels. Remember that study we referenced earlier? Those same researchers concluded that among people in LDRs, the ones who were the most successful were those that lived the farthest apart because they had more meaningful and effective communication. This doesn’t happen on its own!
Couples who wish to stay together must make an effort to open the lines of communication and keep them open. This requires both honesty and creativity when doing so at a distance. Share things with your partner, from minute day-to-day events to your fears and hopes for the future.
It’s the Little Things
When involved in long distance online dating, there are things that you can do both for yourself and your partner to keep the other close even when they are miles away. Having a photograph of your significant other in view is a great way to keep them close psychologically. Long distance relationship gifts and mementos are also nice ways to remind the other person that you are thinking of them. Sending flowers long distance is a wonderful option and can be done through Cherry Blossoms. Other thoughtful long distance relationship gifts might include such things as music, a small pendant, or a handwritten card. You don’t have to spend a lot to show someone else that you care, as it really is the simple things that mean the most in a lasting relationship.
WARNING: We suggest you not send money to anyone you have not met in person. The CB Staff can’t stress this enough.
Long distance relationships may come with their own set of challenges, but they can also provide lasting rewards. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” The myth that dating long distance is a recipe for disaster is just that – a myth. Thanks to technology and evolving attitudes about international dating, couples are finding lasting love at some surprising distances in greater numbers each day.
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