Online Dating Advice: What to do if it’s not a Match?

Seriously, folks. This does happen. With so many different kinds of people doing online dating, you’re bound to come across someone who isn’t a perfect match. You might be looking for someone with a healthy lifestyle, maybe someone without kids, or even a certain religion.

So what do you do if they’re not a good match for you?

You can “ghost” them and just not respond. We don’t recommend this; it leaves the other person wondering if you got their message.

You could be rude and tell them, “NO! I don’t like you.” We don’t suggest this either. We encourage you to be sensitive to the other person’s feelings. It can be really hurtful and demoralizing to the other person to receive a message like that.

We suggest being kind and polite to everyone, even if you DON’T feel like you’re a dating match.
Here’s a sample to try: “Sorry, I don’t feel like we’re a good match. I wish you the best of luck in finding your perfect person!”

What if you’re not a good match for them?

If someone sends you a message saying that you’re not a good match for them, take it gracefully. Even if it’s a rude rejection, be the bigger person. Thank them for taking the time to respond to you and wish them well.

Respect their wishes- don’t keep messaging if they feel there isn’t a match. It’s rude to keep pushing it, especially if they’ve made their wishes known.

Move on! Believe it or not (and you should), there are thousands more single men and women who are looking for love on Cherry Blossoms. There ARE more people who DO match what you’re looking for.

If you’re on Cherry Blossoms (and you should be, if you’re looking for Asian Online Dating), take advantage of their automated matches and their advanced searches. This takes a lot of the leg work out of searching.

We hope to see you online!

Aloha,

CB Staff

Don’t do these things in China.

china

 

While China has become more westernized, there are still some basic things you should and shouldn’t do while you’re there. These are just basics, but as long as you’re friendly and bring your best manners, you will get along fine and have a great time.  

 

Don’t be Late:

It can be seen as rude to be late. Always be on time or even a little early to meetings or dates.

 

Never Show Up Without a Gift   

If you’re meeting someone, it’s customary for both parties often exchange gifts.  For instance, if you’re meeting your fiancée’s family for the first time be aware that you’re expected to bring a gift.  Gifts are not usually opened until after you leave. If they do insist you open your gift, ask “Is it ok if I open it?”  

 

Special note: Don’t bring four gifts or clocks as gifts- the Chinese associate these with death and are considered unlucky.

 

Don’t Call People by Their First Names Only:

Unlike in the West, Chinese people don’t call each other by their first name. Let’s say a man is introduced to you as  “Lee Ming”.  You can safely address him as Mr. Lee not Mr. Ming, because the family name comes first.  As an example  Joe Smith is known as Smith Joe. This will be a little different if you’ve already got a close relationship with them, but let them say so first.

 

Avoid Public Displays of Affection:

Generally, public displays of affection (PDAs) are frowned upon.  Hand holding is becoming acceptable but play it by ear and ask if it’s ok.  Your girlfriend or fiancée will appreciate the gesture.

 

Never let someone else pay the Bill without saying, “No, please let me.”

Let’s say you go out to a meal in China. It’s time to pay for the meal and your dining companion says, “I’ve got the bill.”  It’s considered good manners to argue and fight for the right to pay the bill. Showing eagerness to pay the bill is just good manners. Be willing to go back and  forth a few times with the “No, let me” before it’s settled.

 

Don’t Take The First  “No Thank You”  Literally

People in China will almost always automatically refuse things like having a drink or going out for food automatically, even if they are really hungry or thirsty.   In China a  good guest is supposed to refuse at least once, so you as a good host should always offer at least two or three times.

Never Accept Food, Drinks , or Gifts Without Refusing a Couple Times.

Likewise, don’t immediately accept anything offered.  Chinese people will expect you as a guest to refuse at least once.

Don’t Brag

 

Chinese people are humble and polite. Let’s say have dinner and give your host a compliment like “That was the best dinner ever!” Your host will say, “No, that was really bad.”  They’re not being rude, just humble and polite.

 

So be humble too. Keeping the  boasting to a minimum will help keep things from getting awkward. Be modest about yourself: if someone pays you a compliment , be humble and say something like “No, not at all” or “I’m not good at it, but thank you for saying so.”

 

We hope this brief guide comes in handy, especially if you’re going to China to visit a Fiancee or girlfriend (or even meeting her family!).

 

Looking to date a Chinese girl? Find her on Cherry Blossoms <3

 

Etiquette links:

 

http://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/guidebook/etiquette.htm

http://www.commisceo-global.com/country-guides/china-guide

10 Chinese Etiquette Tips

Chinese Travel Information

Updated 04/07/2017.

The Insider’s Guide to a Winning International Online Dating Profile

insidersguide

 

Creating an online dating profile can be a scary prospect. While the idea of long distance dating and dating Asian women may sound exciting, it’s a virtual guarantee that you’ll be destined for failure if you don’t spend some time upfront on this important task.

You may be the greatest guy in the world and have a lot to offer, but online dating requires that you put your strengths in writing and stand out from the crowd. Sounds suspiciously like a job interview, doesn’t it? While there are similarities, this is so much more fun if you do it right! Consider these key profile elements as you get started:

Grab ‘Em Fast!

One of the first things that people are going to see is the first line in your profile. It would be a good idea to spend some time making this distinctive and intriguing. Some people like to use song lyrics for headlines while others throw out a bit of humor. Whichever way you choose to go with it, keep it clean and non-controversial and you should be just fine.

Details Please

It should come as no surprise that the profiles that attract the most attention are the most well-written ones. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a professional writer or that you should hire one to excel here.

What you will need to do is set yourself apart from the “I like music and I love to laugh” crowd. While it’s ok to share that you enjoy a good time, provide specific examples of hobbies or activities that you appreciate so that readers can get a better sense of who you are.  For example, try “I like jazz music and eating Thai food”. You get the idea.

When writing your profile, be clear about your objectives and avoid any impulse to either be dishonest or negative in any way. Tell the ladies what you want! “I want to meet a nice woman for romance and love.”

A Picture is Worth…

Well, it’s worth a lot! To begin with, having some good images on your profile is worth not having your profile automatically excluded from searches as many women simply won’t even glimpse a profile that that doesn’t have a picture. As a general rule, posting photos will your profile will get you ten times as many responses as a profile without them! As your photos could be one of the most important elements of your dating profile, here are few tips to make sure you’re on the right track:

  •         For your main profile photo, choose a picture of just you, so there is no guesswork involved.

 

  •         Avoid using your computer’s webcam for photos as these generally turn out pretty dreadful.

 

  •         Post images that show your friendly side, with a normal and easy smile.

 

  •         Include at least two photos and preferably four or more.

 

  •         It’s not considered a good idea to post pictures of yourself with the opposite sex, even if is your sister! Many women find this a turn off and it can be very confusing. More confusion leads to less responses.

There is plenty of conflicting advice about international online dating that can make things confusing for someone new. While the stigma of long distance dating has virtually disappeared, if you want to meet Asian women online, you’ll need to start by working on your profile. If you use the pointers we’ve given you here, you will stand out from the crowd and have the experience you desire. That’s a promise!

 

Edit: Updated 04/07/2017 with some new resources for you!

How to set up a great online dating profile!
10 Online Dating Do’s and Don’ts
Advice for Dating Asian Women

10 Dating Profile Turn-Offs Asian Women Notice

datingTurnoffs

It sure seems like online dating comes naturally for a few but it might be a struggle for nearly everyone else. A lot of guys have had great results on Cherry Blossoms, but if you’re wondering why your online dating profile isn’t pulling in the kind of responses you’re looking for– we have some ideas for you.

 

In most cases, creating a winning profile is more about what you shouldn’t include than what you should. Here are ten profile turnoffs that are bad news if you are interested in dating Asian women.

 

  1. Strange Photos

Let’s be honest here. Most Asian women are going to be turned off by any number of strange photos that men post on their Asian dating site profiles.

While a selfie is better than not having a photo, bathroom and gym selfies are not ok whether you are wearing a shirt or not. Old or blurry photos aren’t going to work either. Finally, women know when you post cropped pictures of yourself and your ex.

Anything other than a good, recent photo of yourself is a turnoff.

  1. Unkempt Physical Appearance

Don’t be “That Guy”. A man who doesn’t care about his physical appearance isn’t very attractive to ladies. If you don’t care about how you look, this is usually going to carry through into other areas of your life. It makes a bad first impression.

Also, Asian women often prefer men who don’t have facial hair, so if you’re sporting one of those lumberjack beards you may have a tough time getting a response. Tidy up that beard!

 

  1. No Sense of Humor

Women love a man who has a sense of humor and especially one that can laugh at himself. If you’re taking life, and yourself, a little  too seriously this is going to be an ongoing issue.

 

It’s ok to be a “serious” type, but avoid the negative talk if you wish to attract Asian women.

 

  1. Lack of Confidence

Dating Asian women isn’t for the faint of heart. Studies have shown that women are turned on by confident men and turned off by meek ones. However, this doesn’t give you an excuse to brag it up- Your dating profile should exhibit signs of confidence, such as knowing what you like to do and having your own sense of self and style.

 

  1. Poor Spelling and Grammar

Not everyone has perfect grammar or won their school district’s spelling bee. That’s why most word processing programs have a spelling and grammar checking system built-in! Write your profile in MS Word or some other similar program and hit the “spell check” button.

 

No one expects you to have perfect spelling and grammar in your dating site profile, but it should be understandable, readable and coherent. This will especially help Asian ladies who are relying on translation software.

 

  1. Too Many Abbreviations

“Srry lol jk  omg ;P <3”

No joke, your dating profile isn’t a text message or a social media post. If you need to say “LOL” or post an emoticon more than once, it’s too many times. Not everyone understands abbreviations and texting slang, especially if English isn’t their first language.

Write in full sentences and save the smilies and hearts for later.

 

  1. An Inaccurate Profile

A pretty massive turnoff on men’s dating profiles is inaccuracy. To put it more clearly, don’t lie.

 

Don’t stretch the truth about your age, height, weight, or marital status. Don’t make up hobbies to try to sound more interesting. If you are really looking to seriously date Asian women, hopefully, you want to find someone who likes you for who you are.

 

  1. Too Much Information (TMI)

A dating profile is not the place to lay out your latest sob story or to trash your ex. Depressing stories aren’t sexy and, if you’re angry and trashing your ex, it doesn’t cast you in a good light.

Keep it short and sweet: be positive and focus on the kind of person you’d like to meet instead of dwelling on the past.

  1. Generic Terms and Adjectives

We all think that we’re “nice” and “funny” but this pretty generic when it comes to a dating profile. If you’re interested in dating Asian women, be more specific about your background, your hobbies, and the adventurous things that you enjoy doing.

 

Example: “I like motocross and horror films. My favorite movie is Titanic.” Ok, don’t use these exact words (unless you’re really into those things). Giving specifics will give you something to talk about.

 

  1. Being a Jerk

A dating profile is not the place to objectify women by telling them how beautiful, intelligent, and physically fit they should be. Do NOT be degrading.

 

If your profile looks like this,“I’m looking for a perfect 10. She should be a doctor/model/great housekeeper–ALL AT THE SAME TIME!”, you might get a few hits, but more often than not, women will pass it by.

 

It’s a given that you’re probably looking for a certain type of woman on an Asian dating site. If this is you, that’s great, but don’t close yourself off to other opportunities.

 

The Takeaway?

Yes, it’s easy to meet Asian women online, especially at Cherry Blossoms. However, you’re still going to need to add a little polish on your profile if you’re looking to attract a special woman.

 

Other links :    

What Makes Great Online Dating Site Profile Photos?

The Fear of Getting Older and Being Alone-What YOU Can Do About It

https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-deal-breakers-or-major-turnoffs-that-women-see-in-mens-online-dating-profiles

http://www.aneclecticmind.com/2014/01/07/20-things-that-turn-me-off-about-your-online-dating-presence/

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/deanna-lorraine/7-biggest-turnoffs-your-online-dating-profiles

http://www.menaskem.com/four-online-dating-profile-mistakes/

Updated 04/07/2017

Vietnam!

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Vietnam

Vietnam is a one-party Communist state with one of the fastest growing economies in Southeast Asia.  With a land mass about the size of Germany, the countries’ chief exports are cashews, black pepper, rice, coffee, tea and rubber. Officially named the Socialist Republic of Vietnam in 1976, the country capital city is Hanoi with a population of 6.2 million people.

From subtropical and dry to chilly and wet, the weather in Vietnam is diverse and somewhat challenging.  With two opposing monsoon seasons, be sure to check the weather forecast for the city you plan to visit and the time of year.  April, May or October are considered the best months of the year to travel, but be aware that Vietnam has three very different weather zones: north, central and south.

Before You Leave

Passports and Required Travel Documents

With three major International airports, Vietnam is definitely an up and coming tourist destination.  As a US citizen, you will need a valid passport and a prearranged visa. If you already have a valid passport, check that your passport will not expire for at least six months from your return date. If you need a passport visit: http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/first/first_830.html to find out how to apply for either your first passport or to renew a previous passport.

Visit the Vietnam Embassy website at: http://vietnamembassy-usa.org/ to find out how to get your 30 day visa for Vietnam prior to your departure.  This process may take several weeks and requires your valid passport, so leave plenty of time for all required travel documents.

There are also several private companies that can assist you with obtaining your passport and your visa entry documents.  We suggest checking with: https://www.passportsandvisas.com or http://visacentral.com if you need help or are short on time.

 

Health Concerns and Vaccinations

Any international traveller should be up-to-date with all routine vaccinations such as measles-mumps-rubella (MMR), diphtheria-pertussis-tetanus (DPT), and influenza (Flu).  Travellers to Vietnam should also receive vaccinations against typhoid, hepatitis A and B.  If you will be staying in Vietnam for over a month or will be visiting rural areas outside of the city centers, check with your doctor regarding the recommended Japanese Encephalitis Vaccine and anti-Malaria drugs.  Check: http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/destinations/traveler/none/vietnam   for information on these vaccinations and current precautions or updates.

Pack all necessary medications in their original containers and bring a letter from your doctor describing any serious medical conditions if you have any concerns.  A small first aid kit with bandages, antibacterial cream, a pain reliever like ibuprofen or acetaminophen, a sunscreen, mosquito repellent and an antidiarrhea medication is also useful.

Because of the humidity of Vietnam, take precautions to avoid dehydration and drink plenty of sealed, bottled water.  Avoid tap water and use your bottled water to brush your teeth, especially the first few days as your body acclimates to a new diet and a new environment.  Be sure to use a mosquito repellent always as dengue fever and malaria can be present.

Flights/Hotels/Cars

When checking flights to compare travel prices and itineraries we suggest checking:

www.cheaptickets.com , www.travelocity.com or www.expedia.com for airfare and hotel bookings. They often have the best prices for flights and flight hotel packages.

You may also want to look into trip cancellation insurance.  Check out https://www.squaremouth.com/travel-insurance-quotes#single_trip   where you can compare hundreds of travel insurance products.  Oftentimes getting a combination of trip cancellation, medical, and medical evacuation insurances is the best value for your money.

Vietnam does not recognize International Driving Permits. You will need a Vietnamese drivers’ license to rent a car. Unless you’re planning a stay of  several months, it may not be worth your time and money.  We suggest you check other types of transportation, depending on your travel itinerary and needs.  These travel guides should help you with any questions you have about getting around Vietnam:

www.lonelyplanet.com                                 www.fodors.com                       www.frommers.com

 

Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP)

This program is a free service provided by the U.S. Government to U.S. citizens who are traveling to, or living in, a foreign country. This program allows the Department of State to better assist you in case of an emergency. Your itinerary is submitted and you can also receive updates on Travel Warnings, Travel Alerts and other information for a particular country.

You can enroll in the Smart Traveler Program  at https://step.state.gov/step

 

Electricity in Vietnam   

Household electricity in Vietnam is 220 volts, 50 hertz, so you will need a converter and adapter for electronics. Before leaving for Vietnam take a look at the electronics you want to take, laptops, phones etc. to make sure you have the proper adapters, converters and transformers.  If you’re bringing a laptop or tablet with you,  don’t forget the surge protector

Check out http://www.walkabouttravelgear.com/elect.htm  or our Amazon store  http://amazon.com   for more information and pricing on electrical adaptors.

COMMON WALL SOCKETS IN VIETNAM

 

Vietnamese Money  

The dong is the currency of Vietnam. It is a good idea to familiarize yourself with the different bills and their colors and values before you leave.  Vietnamese paper bills range from 200vnd to 500000vnd and luckily are not all the same size and color.  You can change dollars to dong at banks, hotels and authorized exchange bureaus.  If exchanging currency at banks or hotels, bring crisp clean US currency when possible.  The current exchange rate from US dollars to Vietnamese dong (vnd) can be found at: http://www.oanda.com/currency/converter. Some businesses may take US dollars, but this is discouraged by the Vietnamese Government.

Travelers checks  can be cashed at banks or authorized foreign exchange outlets for a fee.  Credit cards are also accepted at most banks in major cities, as well as ATMs.  Be sure to have extra Vietnamese currency if traveling away from the city centers.

Time

Vietnam is 7 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time. There’s no daylight savings time in Vietnam, meaning that in the summer months, it’s 12 hours ahead of the U.S. East Coast, in winter months 11 hours ahead.

Is it Safe?

While violent crime is almost nonexistent in Vietnam, petty thievery and pick pocketing can be a problem.  You will have no problems if you take some precautions:

  • Keep your passport and cash in a concealed travel wallet. Some examples of  travel wallets can be found at http://amazon.com
  • Keep your valuables in the hotel safe.
  • Use your common sense. Stick to well traveled roads and don’t walk down dark alleys.

One of the greatest dangers in Vietnam is road travel and just crossing the street can be life threatening if not careful!  Be extremely careful if you go by motorbike or motorbike taxi.  There are lots of accidents and don’t be scared to ask your driver to slow down.

If you need assistance, the local equivalents to the “911” line in Vietnam are 113 for police, 114 for fire, and 115 for ambulance.

Criminal Penalties

While you are traveling in Vietnam, you are subject to the laws of Vietnam even if you are a U.S. citizen. If you are arrested, contact the US Embassy immediately.

Cell phones in Vietnam

Having a working cell phone while in Vietnam is an essential part of travel. There are many options when looking for a cell phone to use in Vietnam. Some services will only work in Vietnam, so take that into consideration if you’re planning on doing other traveling.

1.  Call your local cell phone provider to find out if your phone will work in  Vietnam.  If they do, find out the rate-it may be extremely expensive.

2.  If your cell phone provider does not offer this option, look into services that can provide a world-wide Sim card  for your existing unlocked phone.  You can also rent a phone for your trip.

3.  When you arrive in Vietnam, you can pick up a local sim card to use in an unlocked phone.  In Vietnam, a sim card is relatively inexpensive, and usually comes preloaded with  40000-50000 Dong for under 20.00 USD.   Note: Check that the sim card or phone rental does not expire after 7- 30 days.

One service you can check for renting or purchasing a worldwide cellphone is www.Mobal.com.

 

Availability of Healthcare:

 

The only high-quality healthcare facilities are in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon). Your options in rural areas are quite limited, and any major medical issue usually means an uncomfortable transfer to one of these centers or an evacuation to Singapore, Bangkok, or Hong Kong.

 

If you do get sick when traveling in Vietnam, call the US Embassy or US consulate for their list of local doctors who speak English. In a pinch, your hotel should be able to get you a recommended local doctor that speaks English.

 

When traveling in Vietnam, you may have to pay all medical costs upfront and be reimbursed later. Medicare and Medicaid do not provide coverage for medical costs outside the U.S. Before traveling overseas, find out what medical services your health insurance does cover.

To protect yourself, consider buying medical travel insurance. Be clear that the medical insurance you are purchasing covers medical transfers and/or evacuations.

Important Links:

For information on traveler’s insurance, trip cancellation insurance, and medical insurance while traveling, we suggest: https://www.squaremouth.com

For information on medical transfers and evacuations, visit: http://medjetassist.com

 

US Embassy and Consulate in Vietnam

U.S. Embassy in Hanoi
170 Ngoc Khanh
Ba Dinh District
Hanoi, Vietnam
24 hour telephone number: (84-4) 3850-5000
Fax: (84-4) 3850-5010
U.S. Consulate General in Ho Chi Minh City
4 Le Duan, District 1
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
24 hour telephone number: (84-8) 3520-4200
Fax: (84-8) 3520-4244

UPDATED 04/07/2017- Please be sure to let us know if there’s new information!