SURVEY SAYS! Online Daters Usually Date One at a Time…?

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is on the minds of many singles. But just how open-minded are singles while looking for love online?

In a second annual State of Dating in America report, online dating sites JDate and ChristianMingle surveyed over 2,600 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 59 to find out how they felt about dating in the digital age. As the stigma of online dating continues to dissipate, with 85 percent believing that online dating is socially acceptable, the study looked at the behaviors of the online dating cycle from first contact to moving in together, marriage and dating etiquette.

Let’s start with getting to the first online date. Are all online daters serial daters? While many have said that online dating comes complete with a “shopping cart” mentality, with a large bouquet of singles on dating sites, one would think Internet daters’ date cards would be filled with a different date every day of the week.

According to the survey, while most singles are writing to several people at once, in reality, they prefer to date one person at a time. Does this mean online daters are really serial monogamists instead of serial daters?

The question asked in the survey said:

Do you generally contact one person, communicate with them and go on a date OR are you communicating with multiple people during the same time frame?

More than half of the respondents admit they go out with one dater at time, with 63 percent of women and 53 percent of men saying they communicate with multiple people, but only go out with one person at a time.

By comparison, only 38 percent of men and 24 percent of women contact one person at a time, and the lowest response came from 9 percent of men and 14 percent of women who date multiple people at the same time.


Frankly, I’m surprised at these numbers, as it takes time to get to know someone. Going on a few dates with a few people simultaneously should help the process and help you become a better dater, right? Should one put all of their eggs into one digital basket?

The good news is that the stigma about online dating is continuing to diminish. Two out of three singles in the survey knew people who met as a result of online dating and an overwhelming 94 percent of singles believe that online dating expands their dating pool, with 86 percent saying it speeds up their search as compared to being set up by friends.

Think about it. Online dating is available 24 hours a day, so the convenience factor is there. Still, finding love online can be like finding a needle in a digital haystack. You need to become the “1 in 40 million.” At the end of the digital day, it’s a numbers game worth playing.

How many dates would you juggle while looking for love online?

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of She was an early adopter of Internet dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Online Scams – Alert – Nigerian Men Targeting US Women – taken from Rueters


(Reuters) – Hundreds of American women are being ensnared by Internet scammers based in Malaysia, with some losing over a quarter of a million dollars, as the country becomes an epicenter for online crime perpetrated by Africans, U.S. officials say.

The mostly Nigerian conmen, who enter Malaysia on student visas, take advantage of the country’s good Internet infrastructure to prey on lonely, middle-aged women, wooing them on dating websites before swindling their savings, they said.

The scams are more sophisticated than most Nigeria-based operations – which most Internet users have experienced at some time either via email or advertising – helped by Malaysia’s advanced banking system, which allows perpetrators to quickly set up accounts and receive international transfers.

U.S. officials say Malaysian police lack the resources and expertise to tackle the problem and have yet to launch a single prosecution of a case involving a U.S. victim.

Malaysian police were reported by local media last December as saying that the number of Internet scam cases more than doubled in 2013 with total losses of more than $11 million. A total of 476 Africans had been apprehended for suspected involvement, the report said.

The Malaysian police and the Nigerian embassy in Kuala Lumpur did not respond to Reuters’ request for comment. A spokesman for Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission said he was not aware of scammers operating in Malaysia, but added they were known to have international networks.

Tim Scherer, consul general at the U.S. embassy in Kuala Lumpur, told Reuters that complaints about such scams now made up more than 80 percent of inquiries to duty officers at the mission, with a dozen new cases reported every week.

Citizens of Australia, Canada and Europe had also been targeted, he said.

“These are not rich widows who are being preyed on, these are middle-class Americans who don’t have this kind of money to spare,” he said. “It can really transform their lives in a very terrible way.”

The U.S. embassy estimates that U.S. victims are losing several million dollars a year, with two women in the past 12 months losing more than $250,000 each. There are more than 600 cases a year, and the amount lost by each victim averages in the tens of thousands of dollars, it said.

The actual figure of total losses is probably far higher, Scherer said, because many victims are too embarrassed to come forward or do not know who to contact. He said the scammers were highly sophisticated, often grooming victims for months and using convincing techniques such as forging letters purportedly from the U.S. ambassador in Malaysia.


Large teams of scammers typically trawl dating or Christian websites and contact middle-aged women, the U.S. officials said. They pretend to be a Western man who then gets into legal or business difficulties in Muslim-majority Malaysia.

One U.S. victim told Reuters she transferred a total of$260,000 to Malaysia, where the man who claimed to love her said he was being prevented from returning to the United States by Malaysian bureaucracy – which required hefty payments to negotiate.

The 59-year-old widow from Phoenix, Arizona, who declined to be identified, said she had gone heavily into debt to make the payments to “Charles”, and even flew to Malaysia in March to meet him. He never showed up, but a European woman claiming to be his lawyer managed to bilk another $25,000 out of the woman before she returned to Arizona.

Another victim, a women in her late 50s in the eastern United States, said she sent her life savings of $300,000 over two months to a Malaysia-based “American” man she met on dating site, three years after her husband died.

“I felt like I was in love with this man and we’d be moving forward with a life together real soon,” she told Reuters. did not respond to a Reuters request for comment. Along with other major U.S.-based dating sites, it features prominent warnings about scammers, specifically telling users to be wary of people who say they are Americans based abroad.


The conmen have exploited Malaysia’s drive to become a global education hub, securing student visas to attend college, the U.S. officials said.

Malaysia has pursued a policy of attracting international students for more than a decade, allowing dozens of foreign colleges to set up Malaysian campuses.

Scherer said it was likely that many of the Nigerians in Malaysia were not genuine students. As of March, there were 9,146 Nigerians on student visas in Malaysia, the education ministry said, out of 123,000 overseas students in total.

“Once in the country as students, there’s very little effort to verify their studies,” Scherer said.

An official with Malaysia’s education ministry said that last year it tightened its vetting and tracking of overseas students.

“We are aware of problems with some international students, especially Nigerians,” the official said.

(Additional reporting by Tim Cocks in LAGOS; Editing by Jeremy Laurence)

Are Age Differences a Big Deal?

The answer when it comes to love is up to the couple, what this tips focuses on is how it will impact your VISA!

A petition cannot be denied due solely to age difference. However, the Embassy will deny a petition if the Consular official does not believe it is a valid relationship. When women are very young and there is a large age difference the likelihood of her using the sponsor as way to get to the US greatly increases. It is up to you to prove the validity of the relationship by submitting to the government e-mails with conversations about your lives, phone bills and photos of the two of you together and you with her family. It is also highly recommended that you be at her Embassy interview.


Thanks and Aloha,

US Visa Support Staff

Online Dating – why it may work for you!

Why Online Dating Works


by Teri Takata


Regardless of your age or technological abilities, the popularity of online dating just can not be ignored.   According to a recent ABC news report, there are over 96 million singles, 5 million of them over the age of 55.


For singles no longer working or feeling too old for a club scene, there are becoming fewer places to meet new, interesting and available peers.  Where does a divorced or widowed man or woman of 55 go to meet potential love interests?  The answer has become obvious; they go to their computer.  And once there, they can find almost anything they are looking for. From  christian online dating sites, hobby sites or international dating sites, there are thousands of websites to choose from.


From the safety and privacy of their own home, singles can choose several online dating sites that interest them and start checking personal profiles of potential matches in just minutes.  With photos and a short description of themselves, each member usually reveals the basics including age, profession, city, state and number of children, if any.  With these common statistics and a few online chats, videos or emails, a connection between two singles begins.


The ease of use, the privacy factor and the ability to respond quickly have been major factors in why online dating works.  Safe and comfortable in their own homes, many singles are able to filter through hundreds of potential love interests to narrow the choices to a half dozen or less. They are also less distracted with the standard face-to-face dating issues of where to meet and what to do.


Once a true connection has been made, online dating allows couples to begin getting to know each other in a much more intimate setting and with a lot more privacy.  If a serious conversation comes up regarding religion, politics or some other topic, an online dating couple has the freedom to continue discussing it long after the face-to-face daters have said good night.


By the time an online dating couple meets in person, they often truly know each other and the typical first-date jitters are eliminated.  Instead of small talk and awkward silences, these couples are off and running with much of the preliminary questions behind them. Better still, many online couples feel more comfortable and relaxed with each other.  Their first face-to-face date is about the chemistry between them and not about whether they are even interested or compatible.


Online dating can save time, money and huge disappointments.  Equipped with a web camera, singles are able to see each other in the light of day; every day, if they so choose.  The ability to say good morning or good night and to talk with one another on good days and bad is another strong reason online dating works.


Lastly, the world has truly shrunk when it comes to online dating.  Whether you are searching in your own home town, across the country or halfway around the world, online dating makes the connection easy, fun and totally affordable.  Ask five of your closest single friends if they are communicating online with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, or any available single outside of their own city and the answer is a strong “yes.”  The boundaries of city, state and even country are blurring and disappearing. In fact, the cultural, economic, social and even political differences between countries are making international online dating one of the fastest growing and most interesting venues.  Single men and women are realizing they are no longer confined to their own geographical area. The availability and wide variety of choices outside their own location has given many searching singles hope for a chance at love they feel they would not have found anywhere else but online.


Not only does online dating literally open the whole world for a potential match, it also forces a single person to ask themselves some deeper personal questions about what they are looking for.  With so many choices a few decisions have to be made.  Nationality, age, education, religion and language are just a few.  Instead of feeling depressed or stressed because they haven’t met anyone locally, online dating has the opposite effect.  With so many choices, the online dater soon realizes that he or she has to sort through the thousands of personal profiles easily and quickly.  Many online dating sites allow the user to sort potential matches by age, location, religion, family preferences and so on.  A sixty year old divorced father of three can easily eliminate women that want to have children if he does not.  He can also specify an age range, a country or countries and even languages.  These choices allow every online dater to narrow in on their own personal preferences and saves a lot of time, money and disappointment.